On Selfishness

Dark Cruising

© 2013, Francesca Luppino

Why do I do it?

Why do I forget that you’re you – an individual – living in that skin?

λóυος

It was my fault. Really, it always is.

I know how to give you what you don’t even know you’re looking for. To turn bitterness into love. But I neglect my wisdom.

λóυος

“How did I make you feel?” he says.

“What did my actions make you think?” he says.

Blamehimblamehimblamehimblamehimblamehim.

“I want to show you that I care,” he says.

Cue rejection. I demand. “It doesn’t matter how I feel. Just do something about it. Take responsibility for your actions.”

“It’s not all my fault, you know,” he says.

“You forget to change, too,” HE says.

YOUCAN’TBLAMEME.

I let it spiral. He leaves.

λóυος

HE is still here, though. HE nudges me. I divert. HE tries again. I think.

HE does it once more.

I write.

I create.

λóυος

I forget you, YOU, because I’m in the way. My pride of body, mind, control.

No one taught me to do what I do. It’s innate – a special delivery from sinful nature – evil itself. And I relish it. Even when I taste that it’s bitter, as I always find relish to be. I am nothing without HIM.

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3 thoughts on “On Selfishness

  1. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

    • Thanks for posting about your weakness so we, the audience, call all relate. We realize we’re not alone in this. Love everything about this post! Style, topic, disclosure….all of it! 🙂

      • That verse is perfect for this! Only when we give up because of our weaknesses do we understand and allow for freedom and power. Thanks for sharing, Megan. It’s great to get feedback, and I’m glad you find the relevance meaningful!

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